Why You Should Have a Brother

This is my brother.

Not really, but everyone tells me he looks like Taylor Lautner. (From Twilight if you live in a hole in the woods somewhere). I thought it was a compliment but Kev's words were 'that nose is killer'.

This is really my brother.

Okay, okay this is Matt Damon, but people tell me he looks like him too.

This is my brother. For reals this time.

Isn't he cute? He has a lovely girlfriend but if that doesn't work out I already have a wait list for a few of my girlfriends. (Kidding Kimmy!)

Everyone should have a brother for the following reasons:

1. Who else will forgive you for stuffing his mouth with socks when he was little?

(I admit, I still torture him sometimes)

2. When you don't have a girlfriend available to give you an opinion while dress shopping, he will pull through. Really.

3. He won't think it's weird when you ask him if he thinks you have gained weight each time you see him. (Hey, he was honest in college.)

(Pretty sure this is me making him pinky swear I didn't get fatter)

4. He reminds you that you are old when you won't pick up the phone because it's 9:30pm and you are going to bed.

5. He thinks it's okay when you ask if he has any zits you can pop, and he let's you.

6. He likes to do interpretive dances with you in the car to random songs on the radio.

7. He will give you unbiased boy opinions. ('Just leave your hair brown already!')

8. You can live vicariously through his youth by calling each week to see which frat parties he went to and what the cool music is to listen to these days.

9. He will drive to pick you up from the airport where you found the cheaper flight even though it's two hours away. He will also stop to find you the boiled peanuts you've been jonesing for on the ride home.

10. You feel special when he opens up to you about his life. Most likely not because you are the only one he will talk to, but because you are the only one who is persistant enough to ask him 20 questions about each topic until he finally gives in and spills the beans.

11. He keeps you grounded by reminding you that he is better looking and funnier than you.

For these and countless other reasons you should have a brother. If you don't, go out and get one! They're really fun.

Love you poopface.